Copy of Dreams: My Private Oasis!

A blog from the past that is still true. I love my dreams!

Sometimes, sleep brings with it a wonderful gift. The gift of remembering the way we used to be and feel before our disease became part of our lives. That gift is our dreams.

I have always had a very active dream life; I've once heard that even when we think we haven’t dreamed it’s just that we don't remember them.  My dreams are almost always big, bold, and colorful. Usually funny and almost always entertaining.

My Private Oasis

But now my dreams have become much more to me, They’re a portal into my former life, when my legs worked as they were intended, and balance meant nothing more than a checkbook term.  In my dreams I run through all kinds of interesting terrain: quiet tree lined streets, bustling city sidewalks, and sandy, white beaches that frame a turquoise blue ocean.  Not only do I run, I climb stairs with such grace, and conquer mountains without breaking a sweat. I dance with reckless abandon, like not a soul is watching.

But then I open my eyes, not realizing that my reality is waiting for me . No longer will I be able to abandon my body, but I will move forward, and wait for my next lovely dream.

Do you dream of your former life?

Till we meet again,

Dawn

A Different Me!

In life we are in a constant state of change, not just physical changes but emotional changes as well, and let's not forget the soul. 

Dystonic muscles were not always a part of my life.  I could walk, jump, run and scamper with the best of them.  Little hints of what to come were there but not recognized as a future nemesis.   For the most part the body gave what it was supposed to, and I accepted the rewards without question.  I made it through the teen years, worked, and had lots of fun in between.  Next came the married with kids years, where I am very thankful that I was able to raise me kids without my mobility disorder plaguing me.  

Once it was confirmed that there was a neuromuscular problem, something in me changed.   My persona became different and at times unrecognizable.  In the early years I was outgoing by nature, never meeting a stranger, and in truth I probably scared many away with my constant chatter.  I lived life out in the open, always ready for some fun.  However, when my symptoms began my personality began to change as well.  With each stumble and fall, a small fraction of me changed with my confidence level starting to wane.  I became aware of crowds,  and I felt embarrassed to walk in front of them.   The first time that happened I was totally shocked.  I was a person who in her former life could talk to a crowd of a thousand people without any problem.  With each phase of my disease I changed a little more.  I used to love to go to Starbucks and get a treat, but when I'm in between Botox shots for my voice I shy away.  My husband tells me to just drive up and tell them what I want, but that's easier said than done.  I am now shy, and I worry what others will think.  I know I shouldn't, but I do!

With my mind and body changing another part has changed as well, my soul.  My soul is who I am, good or bad.  The inner me now looks at life a bit differently.  I treasure every moment of this beautiful world, and I thank God for letting me live in the time of medical miracles.  No longer do I worry and stress about the small stuff.  I am more empathetic towards people and less judgmental.  I am in no way thankful for my disease!  I would much rather be healthy, but my disease has forever changed me; mind, body, and soul.

How have you been changed?

 

 

 

Dreams: My Private Oasis!

A blog from the past that is still true. I love my dreams!

Sometimes, sleep brings with it a wonderful gift. The gift of remembering the way we used to be and feel before our disease became part of our lives. That gift is our dreams.

I have always had a very active dream life; I've once heard that even when we think we haven’t dreamed it’s just that we don't remember them.  My dreams are almost always big, bold, and colorful. Usually funny and almost always entertaining.

My Private Oasis

But now my dreams have become much more to me, They’re a portal into my former life, when my legs worked as they were intended, and balance meant nothing more than a checkbook term.  In my dreams I run through all kinds of interesting terrain: quiet tree lined streets, bustling city sidewalks, and sandy, white beaches that frame a turquoise blue ocean.  Not only do I run, I climb stairs with such grace, and conquer mountains without breaking a sweat. I dance with reckless abandon, like not a soul is watching.

But then I open my eyes, not realizing that my reality is waiting for me . No longer will I be able to abandon my body, but I will move forward, and wait for my next lovely dream.

Do you dream of your former life?

Till we meet again,

Dawn