I have blogged before about one of my medical conditions, Spasmodic Dysphonia. With this condition my speech becomes extremely strained because the folds of my vocal chords spasm. I do get tremendous relief from Botox shots that are placed into the folds of my vocal chords, thus paralyzing them. They keep my voice going for about four months and then it's back to the doctors chair for another set of shots. The shots, while a miracle to me, do come with side effects such as: swallowing issues, breathiness, and the general feeling of a big booger stuck in your throat. (thankfully,this is short lived) Even with the shots my voice is far from perfect, but I am able to communicate.
I do have a point I'm trying to make. We as humans want to communicate and be understood, and there are times that I really need a voice. Believe me when you hear that saying, " You never know what you got until it's gone," is so true.
These are the times I miss my voice the most:
1. Ordering at a drive-thru window: Seems simple doesn't it? Not so much if you have to speak into a microphone to place an order. My voice doesn't exactly carry so the workers always have problems understanding me. There is a bright side to this sad dilemma, my pocketbook is much healthier due to my vocal challenges. No Starbuck's for me!
2. Talking on the phone can be an exercise in futility. Let me just say that there are many times where I stay away from phone calls. The people on the other end of the phone tend to get frustrated with not being able to understand what I'm saying. It's exhausting and frustrating!
3. Meeting new people can be nerve racking, not only for me but for them also! Where people who know me use different visual cues to understand me, new people don't know these cues. So many times I just avoid social gatherings, and being a social butterfly, that totally sucks!
4. Talking to my family and friends is easier than others because we're constantly working out the kinks that come with an unpredictable voice. But there are times that it's still difficult. Chatting with family members around a dinner table or a family event can be challenging. Even though I have trouble speaking they always understand, whether spoken or unspoken,
I love you!